One Man’s Secret is Another’s Secret Knowledge (part 2)
Posted on | October 27, 2008 |
Previously on One Life to Live
As I suspected, the truth never hurts quite as much as one imagines. After all was said and done, my friend forgave me. But not strictly to my hypothesis… yet.
On another topic, I must point out that I respect direct requests for secrecy. If I seriously object, I will make it clear to the sharer before doing anything else. Above all, I believe it is best for the secret-holder to open up than to get “caught” or for it to come around the grape-vine. It’s a character builder. The act of opening up bare adds steel to the old backbone. Some call it responsibility, I’d call it authenticity.
What if you know someone else’s secret and you think it’s important that another know it? Tough call. Really. I’ll start by not giving advice but relating my own experiences and how I handled it. First I learned it is important to work on the things that are actually under your control, and leave the rest alone - do not take responsibility for it, emotional or otherwise. As a sage friend of mine once said, “figuring out what IS under our control and what IS NOT is the trick.” I measure it against this stick: Is it my action that can fix this, or does it require someone else’s? Usually at this point I can decipher if it’s time to act.
I have been asked to pass on a secret. I simply say, “No. I think you should do this yourself.” Why? If the bearer is not strong enough to handle the consequences of another’s belief regarding that secret, then it’s probably not time to reveal it yet. Plus, they should gain the benefit of being proud that they said it themselves.
All in all, truth always makes clear where everyone stands. Always consider that it will be filtered through each individual’s personal set of beliefs. So even truth isn’t neutral… Facts are subject to interpretation. Nonetheless, release is a wonderful feeling.
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