Fear is a Terrible Motivator
Posted on | September 1, 2008 |
If you allow fear to drive your actions, please stop. Now.
I couldn’t be clearer, and I am being directive. I do think this is important, though.
If you find yourself saying, “I afraid to do this because…” stop a moment to dissect the root of that fear.
Hypothetical Example: I was afraid to write this post because it reveals something more about me that is personal. Full entry after the jump.
Q: What’s the harm in revealing something personal?
A: Someone might be able to hurt me with this information.
Q: What hurt could someone do to me?
A: I don’t know… something.
Q: Take a guess…
A: Well, maybe they would know more about me and I’d have to spend more time talking with people about who I really am…
Q: Are you afraid of someone knowing who you really are?
A: No… I guess not.
Q: You aren’t or not sure you aren’t?
A: I am not.
Q: So what do you want to do?
A: I want to continue writing this post. I am not afraid of who I am.
Q: And what benefits does this give you?
A: The freedom to be myself and enjoy being myself?
Q: Is there anything to be afraid of?
A: No.
This sample dialog is part truth, part illustration. I think it starts to get the point across. But I’d like to use some other examples…
News
I do not read or listen to the news on any regular basis. Why? I find no benefit in the content. Even public radio often reports on fear-based news. And in my view, most news is about things I cannot control and therefore don’t want to spend a second thinking about it. Murder in NYC, or near where I live. War overseas, the sucky economy… what benefit does it give me to constantly think about them and talk about them? That is simply a waste of my time and possibly a waste of others’ time just spreading the ideas around to occupy other people’s time.
The question that shut the news off for me:
Wouldn’t you rather be doing something that makes you happy?
Answer: Yes!
Television
I believe television is another vehicle for fear, and now I am not referring to broadcast news. I work as a marketer (and I believe I am one of the “nice guys”). So my vision into advertising may be quite different than yours.
Effective commercials do a few things well:
1) Interrupt you while you want to be doing something else (entertain yourself!)
2) Make you think about what you don’t have and why you need it
3) Help you remember it by doing something either a) strange and memorable or b) unique
Here is where the fear comes in - #2 above. If you’re afraid your life won’t be good without that new product, they win. You may not buy it, but you may tell someone else. Like Seth Godin’s “Ideavirus,” it gets passed on by your action. You pass on the fear of unhappiness when you talk about wanting it and unless you get that product, you may remain unhappy.
I do not watch cable or network television. I watch DVDs, rent movies or visit websites for streaming content when I want to be entertained. I mostly escape the barrage of advertising out there.
Thus I am exposed to less fear tactics than the average American.
The insights I gain from this are many:
1) Once all the noise of constant advertising was removed, I was able to identify the constant stream of “you should be,” “don’t you want to be,” “why aren’t you like,” and “aren’t you happy now that this exists?” questions that advertising offers
2) I no longer pine for things I don’t have, I appreciate what I have and choose wisely about purchases
3) I recognize that without all this constant advertising chatter I have MORE free time to do as I choose.
4) My thoughts are free of all those other things that interruptive advertising shouts and shouts at me, which equals even more free time
5) The average American of my generation has grown up on a steady diet of advertising and many of our beliefs stem from the fear of not being like the average American - slim, rich white teeth, great car, big TV, all the coolest gadgets, etc. etc. etc.
The most important operator here in this fear-based ad market is comparison. You MUST compare yourself to something to be left fearful of wanting something you don’t want. And, like Pavlov’s dogs, ads ring that bell and we drool. We become afraid that we are not what we should be, have what we should have, someone is going to take away what we worked so hard to purchase, that someone else might actually believe something else and want something different for themselves!
I ask you this: Are you afraid that you won’t be happy without these things? What would happen if you chose to be grateful for what you have, cast off those extra things that really being you no joy, and set yourself in a direction that focused on getting only those things that help you achieve personal goals?
I bet you’d be much happier. And less inclined to wait for someone to entertain you (like watching television), waiting through the snippets of fear and unhappiness.
War
This one’s a biggie. Our current situation in the Mideast is driven by fear. We went to war because our government abused an unfortunate incident and drove a fear wedge into our hearts. What will happen to our freedom? Someone hurt us, we have to stop them! What if they do it again? Hmm? You must be afraid enough to let us go to war to protect your (commerce) freedom.
This is big enough to warrant its own post, so I’ll save more for another time. I’ll leave it at the obvious: the airline restrictions, the color-coded “alert levels” and the constant reporting about the war all feed the fear machine.
What would happen if we left them alone to their beliefs and did not meddle? Seriously.
Personal trust
Best place to eliminate fear is within yourself. This starts with trusting yourself to make good decisions. If you’re afraid of mistakes, consider “failures” as an opportunity to learn how to not do something. Better than not doing anything at all - the result of fear.
If you believe that you can make good decisions for yourself, then you can make no bad decisions. If you measure each an every one against this question:
Am is moving towards something I want or running away form something I don’t want?
It all gets hella clear. As one of my mentors said to me, “The easiest thing to do is nothing. The hardest thing to do is something.”
Stop vacillating and take a chance on what you believe.
Wrapup
Fear IS a terrible motivator. Most decisions based on fear aren’t based on what you want, but on what you don’t want. Why not choose what you do want?
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